Cover Me!

Hello readers! (all 1 of you, most likely only ME, seeing as this blog has sort of faded into obscurity...)

As you can probably tell, I'm BORED, which means it's time to actually write something on this space instead of it just sitting here and rotting away into faded little pixels... Well, the last thing I posted about was how swine flu was coming to kill us, and that was over a year ago.

Anyway, I digress. (as per usual..HA!)

For some reason I've been clicking through my dubious music collection, and not wishing to complete bore everyone over on Facebook with my rantical musings, I decided to come here instead, where most likely no one will read it. A while ago, I decided to try and sort my collection of music, which lasted all of 1 night and now I've got a folder full of oddly named folders with tunes in them. One of which is named "Covers".

Now, I don't really give much credit to covers, because usually I tend to like it more when artists show some originality and do their own stuff, but I realise that at the moment in this folder, I have over 20 covers of songs that are by artists who didn't do them in the first place. The reasons they are there are as varying as the songs that are in there, so I figured I might try and un-bore myself and list the reasons why they are in my folder...

So, in the order that they appear in my little folder, I give you the following:

Marilyn Manson - Tainted Love - Oh dear. Manson is one of those artists who I sort of regret to say that I sort of like. He's not completely a favourite of mine, and I can listen to him in smallish doses, but can't look at him, he's just too completely fugly. Tainted Love is a great song in its original form, an instantly recognisable one-hit-wonderish commodity from that awful decade called the 80's. It's all synthy and sparse sounding, and it has that singalong quality, as well. Manson's cover (which is featured in Not Another Teen Movie) isn't actually that bad... it's slower, more distorted and almost ghoulish in that "I'm going to eat your children" manner that shock-rocker Manson sort of has. The video clip has him running about like a goth gangsta which is kind of humorous in a "taking the piss" kind of way.

Madonna - Imagine - This original version of this song, by John Lennon, I've never been able to listen to without wanting to curl into a ball and cry. It's just because John was such a peaceful man and he was so violently murdered, it's never seemed fair. It is a very solemn song, and I don't particularly like what Madonna did with it. She's not known for doing covers, the only other one she really did was Love Don't Live Here Anymore, which was actually pretty good, and the completely AWFUL version of American Pie (why... oh god WHY were we subjected to that...I'm ashamed to even own the cd single), and then she lost some credibility with me when she borrowed the melody from ABBA's Gimme Gimme Gimme for Hung Up. I say some, because the first time I heard it, I thought "You song stealing bitch!", but then later read that she got permission from Benny or Bjorn or whoever from the ABBA camp to use it, and actually begged...

Orgy - Blue Monday - Now this one, I love. Having said that, I LOVE the original, too, by New Order. There's a cool little synth line in the background that makes my listeny bits go all perky and start bopping of their own accord. The cover adds the "how does it feel" line as a chorus, which is pretty cool, as far as re-arranging goes. Orgy are a great band, too, Stitches is another favourite of mine, as well as Fiction (Dreams in Digital).

Stabbing Westward - Bizarre Love Triangle - Another New Order cover, this being the only cover of it I have at the moment. This was also covered by the Australian band Frente! in the 90's. Their version is just vocals and acoustic guitar, which is the version I remember best (and prefer), other than the original, which is one of New Order's more famous songs, along with Blue Monday and maybe True Faith.

Goldfinger - 99 Red Balloons - Now this cover I've got mixed feelings about. It's fairly "rock" in a nod your head slowly and thrash around sort of way. But, I much prefer the original version. The original GERMAN version, mind you: 99 Luftballoons. That's 99 AIR Balloons, not RED. ones. I don't even like the English edition of the original song. Kudos for the artist (another one-hit-wonder) for putting the song out in both German and English, but even though I can't sing it in German, I DON'T CARE! It sounds better in it's original language.

Alien Ant Farm - Smooth Criminal - This came out in 2001 or thereabouts, and I LOVED it then, and I LOVE it now. I hadn't heard the original by Michael Jackson at the time, and obviously now I have, but I still love AAF's version. The good thing is, that while being heavier, it keeps faithful to the original rhythm, and even though I've always been a bigger fan of guitar than synth, the guitars just add to the song, and the MJ-like vocalisations just make it even that much more special.

Art of Noise ft. Tom Jones - Kiss - This is one cover I actually prefer over the original. Prince's original is ... well.. Prince-esque, isn't it? He's written some good songs over the years, but you never know whether you're listening to a man or a eunuch, quite frankly. Tom Jones just makes this song ooze with cool as only TJ can. The cover was used in the opening titles of My Stepmother Is An Alien.

Cake - I Will Survive - I don't have that many Cake songs in my collection, the other ones are Daria and Going The Distance... But I like this cover of the Gloria Gaynor disco hit. It's very laid back and very "fuck you" at the same time. I like the bass and guitar in it, and the trumpet is almost mariachi band like... gives it a bit of a south-of-the-border feel.

Christina Aguilera - Car Wash - Interestingly enough, the original artist who did this also originally did Love Don't Live Here Anymore (Madonna), which I didn't know until now, just proof that you learn something new every day. I'm not a die hard fan of Christina, but man she can sing. She can out-sing Britney any day (hell, anyone can), and she's definitely got one of those soulful voices.

Christina Aguilera, Mya, Pink and 'Lil Kim - Lady Marmalade - The original is cool in a funky 70's disco kind of way, but the video for this has Pink wearing not very much, and that with Christina again, just sort of makes it. 'Lil Kim I don't care much for really.... to much "ghetto ho" for me.

HIM - Wicked Game - HIM are an awesome band from Finland, and along with this they also do a really good cover of Billy Idol's Rebel Yell. Their cover of Wicked Game, though, has "rawk" written all over it, while alluding to the original Chris Isaak edition (which I also like, it's very mellow).

Johnny Cash - Hurt - Now, I've never really been a big fan of country music. I can listen to some of Johnny's music, and have more of an appreciation of him now that he's croaked (sounds awful, doesn't it), but this is a fairly unique cover. The original of this song (by Nine Inch Nails) is the last track on The Downward Spiral, an album themed around depression, addiction, suicide, to name a few things. To listen to the original, and to hear the vulnerability in Trent Reznor's voice as he sings the opening lines always gives me a bit of a chill. The song itself is about drug addiction, something Johnny Cash was no stranger to, either. TR has said he was blown away by Johnny's cover of his song, which is very personal to him, and he was very much in awe of it.

Nine Inch Nails - Get Down, Make Love - This I'd heard well before I ever heard the original of, which is by Queen. We all know I have an extreme soft spot for both Freddie Mercury and friends as well as NIN. But, on this occasion, I'm going with NIN's cover. It just has SEX written all over it, as well as all the anger and energy that NIN had in those days, and they've completely made something new out of the song, which I think is brilliant in this case, as I wasn't really wowed by Queen's version. I like it, but I just think Trent puts more emotion into the song when he performs it. Oh, and if you listen right to the end, you get Brian May on guitar from We Will Rock You...

Robbie Williams - Freedom - God knows why I have this. It's completely out of context when you look into the original George Michael version and see why he wrote it.

The Gourds - Gin And Juice - Now this song is really interesting. For ages I thought it was by Phish, thanks to a stupidly mislabelled MP3. Then I did some searching and found that it was by an alt-country mob calling themselves The Gourds. It's basically a country version of a rap song by Snoop Dogg. "Bitches and ho's" Snoop Dogg. I haven't heard the original, and you know what, I DON'T WANT TO! Hahaha... this cover just makes me love this song, and I don't want it ruined by hearing the original. Stick yer samples and heavy bass, I'll take the banjoes and southern twang, thank ya very much! AND I HATE COUNTRY MUSIC! lol

The Tea Party - Paint It Black - I like the original of this song (sitar and all, thank you Brian Jones), and this cover is pretty good, too. I also liked Temptation by TTP, and Jeff whatshisname has a deep pseudo-gothic sort of thing going on with his voice. This version just starts and then doesn't stop until it's finished.

Nine Inch Nails - Dead Souls - NIN's spot on the soundtrack to The Crow. As previously stated, I have a penchant for all things NIN. I may have not been aware this was a cover until I heard the Joy Division original, I don't remember. Anyway, this is a great cover, but I think I prefer the original. There's more energy to it, and the energy builds up for 2 minutes before the vocals kick in.

Joy Division were an unfortunately short lived, but brilliant band, only managing to release one album before the death of their lead singer Ian Curtis. Their second album was released two months after his suicide, brought on by depression, marriage problems and health problems with epilepsy. The remaining members of Joy Division carried on as a band under another name... New Order.

Goodnight :P

when does the flu have the flu?

... so i'm calmly listening to rammstein (if you can call till lindemann's dulcet tones growling about.... eh....you dont want to know, trust me...) on the train this morning, and i happen to glance over at the person sitting across the aisle from me, who is reading a copy of today's courier mail (brisbane newspaper). and on the front page is the dramatic headline.... "DEFENCELESS!" and this picture that was so grainy it could have been made from individual grains as far as i'm aware... of whatever we were DEFENCELESS against. looks like a medical thing to me... and then i read a smaller printed headline mentioning something about swine flu.

so i'm all....hmm...will have to read that when i get to work (we get the papers at work every day) .... and i continue letting angry german guitar riffs shred my ears....

so anyhoo....i get to work and have a look at this article after saying "where's the paper.....apparently there's a swine flu coming to kill us..." and then i'm skimming the article and going "cool... bacon is going to be our flu lord!" and trust me i was thinking things about sour cream that u probably wouldn't repeat in polite company... but anyway...

where was i? oh yes....swine flu.

remember that bird flu thing a couple of years back? and that other thing... has the same name as that horrible tasting soft drink i've never really liked.... SARS.... that's the one.... apparently if you got that one you just up and died in like hours. or something. or was that bird flu... or did bird flu turn humans into chickens and make them lay eggs and nest... gee...i really don't remember..

they must be bored for news...i saw a paper mention osama bin laden today. OBL hasn't been mentioned in a while, let's chuck him in for a laugh and see if anyone notices.. shall we speculate as to his living status....is he alive or dead....he looked a bit sick....oh but wait no one's seen him in over 5 years at least and the same video seems to be popping up time and time again conveniently after some thing thats named a terrorist attack... does anyone actually still care?

so when does the flu have the flu? when you're giving your kids too much money for the tuck shop/canteen at school and they're not getting enough exercise.

make sense?

exactly.

Yum Cha at Chinahouse

...god doesn't that just scream RESTAURANT REVIEW!!!!!!

anyway. you and i both know we do shit differently here at TFP.

ANYhoo. I got to work ridiculously early as usual. so i'm hunting around for a new place to try for lunch. i work in the middle of chinatown, so chinese/asian restaurants are aplenty. my only other options are subway or fucking mcdonalds which fucked my order up for dinner.... yet again. must stop going there as it is evil anyways and not in a good way.

So i'm wandering around wickham st, looking at the place next to the Happy Chef BBQ, and i get my phone out of my pocket to check the time. I see I have a call coming through so I answer it. It's my friend Lee from work, and the conversation goes something like this:

ME: (answering phone in the midst of traffic whizzing past me) HELLO?
Lee: Hello...
ME: Where are you?
Lee: I'm at home...where are you?
ME: Uh.. i'm on wickham st standing outside the Superbowl....trying to find somewhere to have lunch.
Lee: Oh. Ok, i'm just getting ready for work...
ME: Well, do you want to get lunch or something?
Lee: Sure, where do you want me to meet you
ME: eh, I'll meet you outside the hotel (he lives in a hotel smack in the middle of the valley)
Lee: Ok, see you in a few minutes.

we hang up and i wander up brunswick st to meet him. so we're chatting away and walking back down brunswick st and Lee is all...so where do you want to eat...and im like... eh.. why don't we go try the Yum Cha at Chinahouse in the chinatown mall? We had gone there the other night for dinner, and the food wasn't bad, although a bit on the pricey side (i dunno...how much does one normally pay for decent chinese food? can you tell i'm fucking sheltered???) but they also do a Yum Cha lunch. (see here for a rundown on what Yum Cha is) I hadn't had Yum Cha for years, and I know it's something Lee hadn't experienced before, so we went up to the restaurant.

we sat down and ordered tea, and then patiently waited for the first trolley to roll by. we had... steamed bbq pork buns (my favourite yum cha dish other than maybe deep fried squid...), sweet pork dumplings, chicken rice flour noodle/roll and i had the deep fried sesame prawn roll, as Lee doesn't eat seafood.

so we ate our meal and drank tea, Lee commenting that the tea was nice and refreshing. the last thing we ordered was off a trolley full of desserts... Mango Pancake. OH MY GOD! This dish was like sex on a plate... a thin pancake... filled with cream and mango ... served cold... but so delicate and so light... i said to Lee.... this pretty much beats fried ice cream.... and he looked at me like... WTF... fried ice cream.... so i had to explain the concept to him... and he was like...ohhhh ok.

Now... for value for money... it's pretty good. the standard dishes are $3.80 each.. and by the time we left, we had paid around $26 for the 2 of us... which is pretty damn good if you ask me. And there are like 3 or 4 of each item on the one plate...so it's not like it's $3.80 for one item.

Will definitely be going back there... I think it was well worth it, and the experience reminded me of being a teenager when my mum used to take me for yum cha in perth... :)

Halfass Review - Happy Chef BBQ - Wickham St Fortitude Valley

...you know how they say..... location, location, location? well...i work in an interesting location... right smack in the middle of brisbane's Chinatown. yes, red lanterns, semi existent pagodas (which are in the middle of being torn down apparently....to make chinatown look less like chinatown... which not only sucks but is really rude....anyway) and a lot of asian restaurants. i say asian cuz it's not just chinese food.....there's thai and vietnamese as well and a couple of japanese places.

anyway, i went a-wandering before my shift started at 2pm cuz i wanted to find Oxlades (an art supply store) to look for some colour remover (which i didnt find any of yesterday...major bummer). i found oxlades, but dammit, they're closed sundays. (BOOOOOOO!!!)

anyhoo, on my meandering back to work, i opted for something to eat for lunch and walked back to McWhirters (shopping centre complex on brunswick st/cnr of wickham) and looked at the phillipino place, but nothing looked appetizing and they didnt have any Adobo....which i like,. but they put peppercorns in it and i hate picking out the peppercorns.. so i decided to walk back past the chinese restaurants on wickham st. i pretty much picked the first place that mentioned take-away and had roasted items hanging in the window....and cautiously opened the door.

now, here's where the comedy starts. my mum took me to a lot of chinese restaurants as a kid, and some smallish places that if you blinked as you walked past, you would miss it. this was even SMALLER than the smallest restaurant i had been in, and to demonstrated how small, i opened the door to see someone sitting right in front of me, eating their lunch. i'm like ....oh shit... and make my way inside...

now the scene as i walked in was odd too. no sound at all... except for clinking of forks and plates and things... but no aircon, no crappy chinese muzak either. and a couple of people from the tables peering up at me as i walked in...and there were less than 10 tables in there. and all these tables were FULL. not kidding.

anyway, i didn't feel like chicken, so i got something simple.....barbecue pork and rice.... $9.50 ....a little bit pricy, but once in a while wouldn't break the bank. anyway.... she takes my order and then proceeds to slice the meat right there behind the counter. none of this.... yelling an order in fluent chinese babble to some hidden away chef who would conjur up my order. she literally reaches over, picks up a piece of barbecued pork and grabs a cleaver and begins to slice away, on a cutting board that probably doubles as part of the register.

it's only then that i sort of take in the garishness of the place. the usual painted golden buddha statue on the counter... one or two faux jade items and lots of those red lantern thingies. she's fiddling behind the counter...ladelling on some sort of sauce and adding some green vegetables. she packs my order into a box, and i grab a menu on my way out, after paying.

when i get to the break room at work...i open my meal and have a nibble. the pork was really good, and the greens....although a little bitter were tasty. the sauce was sweet with soy and probably a bit of garlic in it. then i started reading the menu, which was a good laugh.... for starters, they mis-spelled "noodle" (noodel) and mistyped "bean curd" as "bean CARD", as well as misspelling "chicken" (chichen) ...and even more embarrasingly "szechuan" (szechen)....

...and chicken was misspelled directly under where it was written in the previous line.

so for their dodgy engrish menu and crap decor i give them a 2 but for the food, which didn't make me sick and was actually worth it (ok maybe if it were $1 cheaper).... i give it a 4 out of 5.

Job Update #2

...cuz myspace is borked and i need a whinge.....

and this is all going to be written lowercase, cuz frankly....it's nearly 2am and i don't give a flying fuck about punctuation.

i love my job... on the whole....really, i do. it gets me out of the house, keeps me out of trouble, and helps me pay my bills and keep a roof over my head.

there are times, though...that i find my job a bit difficult... essentially it's a simple job and i wouldn't say it's the kind of job a trained monkey could do, but so long as you're polite to people on the phone, and good with a keyboard, you'll do ok. the tough part comes in the people we deal with... some are rude, some are clueless, and some are just plain off the planet....

tonight was a typical case... i was on the outbound desk, doing callouts (in short, we call people who haven't called to confirm msgs that need confirming) for one company in particular down in melbourne which is once again having shitty weather and bushfires. anyway...dude calls in regarding some building somewhere in melbourne city that has no power. we log the call... and i call it out to the guy who says... no worries will get to the guy asap.

now on the outbound desk we also pick up calls transferred from the floor when agents are having difficulty...so i pick up a transfer from one of the agents.. telling me it's the guy who called in the call about the building with no power and he wants to know when the guy will call him. i take the call and explain that the call has been made and the on call dude will get in contact with him ASAP...meanwhile he's already logged another 2 jobs with the agent who put him through to me.

meanwhile, i've called out the other 2 jobs he's logged, one to the same guy i called before (which is not uncommon) and one to another guy who i woke up (tough shit, that's what you get for being on call) ....so they take the respective details and i think...ok my job is done, can get on with the (slow) night.

about half an hour later i get another call transferred from the floor which i pick up (which was mistransferred to the wrong extension AND not introduced.....ggrrr) and it's the no power guy again. he's pissed and wants to know why he got a call from X company about the problem when he contacted X company to begin with. i try and explain to the best of my abilities what our process is (e.g. we take details then call out this guy and he calls you) and that i was simply following the process we have, etc, etc.

went around in circles with this guy 3 times and he's just not getting the fucking point that my instructions were to contact that particular person for that particular building....he ends up deciding to contact someone else and see what the problem is (or whatever)

less than 5 minutes later i get one of the techs i called the job out to calling in on the confirmations line.... wanting to know if the contact number i gave him was correct.....because the phone has been ENGAGED for the last hour. i explain to him that i've just had the guy on the phone and he's not happy that he hasn't been attended to yet, and he should keep trying to get through to him.

so obviously this guy has been on the phone the whole time either to us or whoever else... while the tech has been trying to get through to him. smart, huh?

thankfully he never rang back though, so he must have got fed up or hopefully the tech got a hold of him somehow.

likewise when people ask when they will get a return call....AS SOON AS POSSIBLE IS THE BEST ADVISEMENT WE HAVE.

here's a hint...if this is the SIXTH call you have made and still had no response..either their really busy, or the business you called is FUCKING DODGY and you should seek help elsewhere.

kinda reminds me of all the rigmarole with X financial services we had LAST year. they weren't returning calls....so we were getting the phone calls from pissed customers about their tax returns (right near tax deadline...cuz...y'know....no one does their tax EARLY) wanting to know why they hadn't called back....i took 3 calls 3 nights in a row from some dude in china who wanted to do his tax return, and each night i had to give him the same line and take his details.

yes, i'm a messaging service....or answering service. no, i don't have that information...but i can take your details and ask them to return your call. whether they do that is not up to me, once i pass on your name and phone number, MY JOB IS DONE and whether they return your call is NMP = NOT MY PROBLEM. i've got the information i have on my screen. that is it. if i say i don't have contact details (which is 95% of the time.....people seem to want ppl to answer their phones but not to pay extra to have info for callers on the screen...) DON'T PUMP ME FOR INFO I DON'T HAVE IT! no, i can't transfer you. if you ask to speak to my supervisor, i'll gladly put you onto my supervisor... but don't be surprised when they give you the same info i just gave you.

likewise: if i say one moment please... don't you fucking DARE tell me "i don't have to wait" .....yes you do. whoever transferred you through to me didn't let me know, so i have to find the right screen in which to process your 3 messages in one which you always stupidly leave.... i know the guy can't help it, but jeeeeeeez......

eh....ok....done whinging for now. sleep then do it all again....fuck i must be insane.....

The one where Frostilicus returns to whinge and maybe give out a few tips or two...

Hey guys. I've been slogging it out since february in the "real world" working at a job that some find mindless and/or mind numbingly repetitive....

As probably stated before, I got a job in a call centre. Yes, i'm still working there. Some days I enjoy it, some days I don't... anyway, i'll explain my job. i'm not a telemarketer. the company i work for basically has an inbound contract where we take messages and do directory assistance for a phone carrier. On some days, for every good caller you get, there's what seems like 100 fuckwit callers as well....which sorta sucks at times. there are times where it gets so busy that even the support staff and managers will get on the phones and take calls. there are times where it is so dead they will send people home (or give them time off without pay). there's weird callers.... prank callers... our managers call us to ensure quality control (tone and manner, etc).

now. in the near year i've been working there, i've been sworn at, said the wrong thing to the wrong person and got chewed out over it verbally (but in my defense...what i was reading off my screen wasn't clear anyway), had people get cranky at me (which is usually beyond my control in any case....as we answer on behalf of business, they have their own rules and conditions which we are advised to tell callers... and sometimes it gets contradictory... e.g. a council in one state here advises callers in their after hours service (which we answer for), to call the rspca.. which then advises the caller to phone their local council. smart, huh? that's had callers cranky at me a few times.

anyhoo.... ive got some whinges and tips....read on....

ok so its mostly whinges.... but there are hints in there if you can see past the sarcasm lol....oh and bitchiness, too....

1: We ask "which town or city please" for a reason. No, we cannot search the whole of Australia in one go. Telling me "it doesn't matter which town or city" doesn't help... pick a fucking city you lazy bastard. Suburbs do NOT help as not only is the question "town or city", there's more than one "Richmond" in Australia (and you self-centred Victorians can stop assuming Melbourne is the centre of the fucking universe... I've got news for you, IT ISN'T!)

2: Don't whinge to me about how the Yellow pages number can only be dialled from a certain phone and you're on another network. Swearing at me and hanging up doesn't really make me feel sorry for you, it just makes me laugh because you are a moron.

3: Asking for "a locksmith in (suburb)" doesn't impress me either. We're name specific. Yes, I can try "locksmith" in suburbs, but frankly, I don't have the time to deal with your stupidity. If you're nice about it, I might give it a shot, but if you talk like you haven't got 2 cents to rub together in your brain, forget it. For a search like that, you need the Yellow pages. Can't access it from your phone? TOUGH FUCKING SHIT try the internet like everyone else.

4: I say "one moment please" for a reason. It means shut the FUCK up and let me do my job. Don't continue to yammer in my ear, repeating the name you gave me like it's a fucking mantra. It doesn't help.

5: Mobile phones are now at the stage where they are light enough to be carried in your hand. If you are driving, YOU SHOULD NOT BE USING YOUR MOBILE PHONE (and I'm pretty sure in most cities here it's illegal). Whoever designed the hands-free kit for mobile phones should be SHOT. 95% of them sound terrible, which means I CAN'T HEAR YOU when you ask for your listing. Why am I asking you to repeat yourself? BECAUSE YOU SOUND LIKE YOU'RE AT THE BOTTOM OF A FUCKING WELL YOU DAFT C*NT! Stop being so fucking lazy, pull over and pick up your damn phone!

6: Don't bitch to me that your phone network doesn't list it's stores in the directory. That's the way they choose to run their company. Don't bitch to me that the customer care side of it is in India, either. If you don't like it, change your fucking phone company. There's such a thing as CHOICE. There's at least 5 others I can name to choose from.

7: Don't expect that new Thai restaurant to be listed when it's only been open 2 days. The people who update the database are slack. Sometimes it can take months. This is out of our control.

8: When I say there's no listing matching your info, I'm not playing games with you. I'm going on the info that YOU, the caller, have given me. If there's no listing... it's either genuinely not listed, or your information sucks.

9: Calling back 10 minutes later to ask for the SAME listing that I told you wasn't listed leads me to think you are ten times the daft fucker I took you for to begin with. Did you think 10 minutes later it would magically be listed?

10: Don't call back and whinge that the number didn't come through to your phone. Sometimes the network can take a while to get the number there. My screen says it was sent.

11: If I say someone is unavailable, just take it as that... don't ask why or where they are. I don't know. I don't even know who they are or what they look like.

12: When I say your call will be returned as soon as possible, don't immediately ask "when will that be?". I can't put a time frame on it for you. Your message gets to them within 60 seconds. Unless I've marked your message urgent, you'll just have to be fucking patient and wait for them to get back to you.

13: If you don't speak english, get someone else to call. If you're calling asking about a job and you don't speak decent english....sorry, but how the fuck do you expect to get a job in an english speaking country when you don't speak the language? Find some english classes, take them... and then call back. Or, fuck off back to wherever it is you came from and get a job THERE (and stop taking our bloody jobs).

14: If i say i'm taking messages and don't have any other information.....don't keep pumping me with questions. You're gonna get fed up hearing my repeated response.

15: If you are a telemarketer from India... don't say your name is Michael or Sharon. I know you're a lying bag of shit who is probably talking to me from a hut beside the Ganges river. And LISTEN to what I'm saying. If you ask for the business owner and I say they're not available... you're a telemarketer so you're obviously not going to leave details.. HANG UP AND TRY THE NEXT SUCKER YOU FUCKING IDIOT. Don't try and sell ME your crap, because I'm just not fucking interested.

16: Don't moan when I ask you if you would like a cheque sent to you to refund the 50 cents you lost in that vending machine. Yes, they send a cheque. That is their policy. No, the staff on site at the railway station will NOT refund you the money and in most cases it says that on the damn sticker you got the fucking number from.

17: Nurses and medical staff. I know it's important, but SLOW THE FUCK DOWN.... I can only type so fast, and I CAN hear you exhaling in a pissed off manner when i say "one moment please" so I can fix my fucking typos because you were babbling like a race caller on elephant doses of speed. If you hang up without letting me read it back in full to you, I WILL add to the message that I was unable to verify BECAUSE YOU HUNG UP. (both to cover my ass and hopefully make you look like a fuckwit.)

18: Don't expect a real estate to be open on a weekend. EVER. Thanks to people who do, we get a lot of real estate calls on weekends. People have lives outside of the office. They are not there purely to serve your needs. I can mark your message ASAP or urgent, but honestly... don't be surprised if you get no response until monday.

19: Don't go apeshit at me when I tell you I can't process your council call re: a turtle that you have found. Sorry, your council doesn't list turtles in their stupid list. Take it up with the fucking council during business hours.

20: If you are stupid enough to put me on hold, I WILL hang up on you. I take upwards of 500+ calls per day, and I don't have time for you to put me on hold. Sorry.

21: Asking me to send the number through to your phone is a little pointless. No, I'm just going to stare at the damn listing on my screen. We send it through to your phone unless you ask for it verbally.

oh..and another thing about telemarketers.... sometimes they use something called predictive dialling... it basically works a bit like an auto-dialler... (think that episode of the simpsons where homer runs the telemarketing scam) anyway... what it does is wait for a voice on the line ... so if you pick up your phone and hear a squeaking sound....hang up.. its most likely a telemarketer.

enjoy.

~F~

The one involving the infected foot...

Ok. So I will admit it. I HATE doctors. I usually don't go to one unless I'm just about to fall off the perch.

That said, I've been dealing with an infected foot since the beginning of the year. I thought it originally had to do with not changing my socks (which I am lazy enough not to do sometimes, although not anymore!), and it's evolved into something totally gross to look at and just about as unpleasant sensation wise. I'm talking raw skin and oozing pus and the like. Not very comfort friendly.

Anyway. I've been to the doctor about it. 3 times. The first time, I was prescribed antibiotics and some anti fungal cream. Neither of which worked terribly well, which led me to doctor visit #2, my housemate (who has now left, more on that later) recommended her doctor to me, saying he was "the best around". I went to him, he prescribed different antibiotics and a different cream, which was supposed to be better.

Today was doctor visit #3. My foot is in a shocking state, and the doctor looks at it and goes: "Hmm...Tinea with a secondary bacterial infection." So then he asks me if I would mind having a blood test. I'm like "no problem", so he gives me a referral for that, a script for cream and antibiotics and then sends me to the nurse to get my foot cleaned and dressed. That, for lack of better words (cuz i'm fucking tired as hell right now) hurt like a motherfucker, but the nurse had to get all the dead skin off it, and to her credit she WAS trying to be gentle.

I get to the chemist, and that was my first aggravation. The cream the doc prescribed for me isn't on the PBS list, so it's 14.95 a fucking tube. I had in mind to also get dressings for it, but that was out. I didn't end up getting the antibiotic script either, seeing as I'd had it before and it appeared to do buckley's. (That's jack shit for you non-aussie types) So I think, right, let's go get this blood test done.

I get to the place where I think it is, and then find out it's the wrong place anyway. I swear out loud, much to the amusement of people around me, no doubt, and then proceed to walk to the address of the pathology place. Then I look up at a street sign and thing "hang on, the form says there's one here too", so i check the form and sure enough, i'm on the right street. I sorta go "yay" and then make for the door. Which I find LOCKED. The bastards close at 4PM. IT WAS NOW 4:10PM. Cue more swearing from me.

I dejectedly decide to take a cab home and wonder how the fuck I'm going to get this blood test done. I'm starting a new job tomorrow, with 4 weeks training from 8:30am - 4:30pm. It'll just have to fucking wait until I get a day free.

As to my housemates, I told them I wasn't renewing the lease when it came up for renewal. To which they basically wanted me to put them on the lease (which I wasn't going to do, seeing as my real estate had no clue they were here anyway and I didn't want to get in trouble because of them, which is why i wanted to get out in the first place...but i didn't tell THEM that.) Turns out they weren't blacklisted anymore (long story), and they applied for a house and got the first one they applied for and moved out last weekend. I have a friend moving in hopefully in the next few days, and this job (a call centre job in brisbane) has come at the right time, cuz even if my friend can't/doesn't move in, i'll probably be ok as far as rent goes.

That's all for now. More about the job at a later point.

Walk...In The Rain...

Today it was raining, and I was at a friends place. I walked home in the rain. No umbrella, no raincoat. I just walked home in it. And you know what? It felt good. Very... I dunno...cleansing in a way. I was drenched when I got home, but it felt good.

Halfass Recipe: Marinated Kangaroo Steaks

Yep, that's right, I said Kangaroo! While my housemates were gone (and they are now back...BAH!), I found myself with the luxury of being able to eat what I consider to be real food (as opposed to the usual dreck of sausages, sausages and more sausages). So while in Coles one day, I was looking in the meat section, and saw that they had Kangaroo available. I hadn't eaten kangaroo in years, not since I was a kid, and decided to be daring and give it a go. They had sausages (which I tried first and thoroughly enjoyed), steaks and seasoned mini roasts. New Year's I had one of the mini roasts, which was delicious... it could have been cooked a little bit longer, but I was hungry. The meat was sweet and tender, and it fed Frosty quite well indeed.

So anyway. Back to the recipe bit. Kangaroo steaks are available here in packs of three, usually 2 bigger steaks and a smaller one. They have a very strong smell, but don't be put off by it.

Ingredients for Marinade for 3 steaks:
======================================

1 tsp ground black pepper
1 tsp garlic salt (you can also use fresh garlic if you wish, just make sure it's grated/crushed)
1 tsp barbecue spices (McCormick's or other)
1 tsp smoked paprika (McCormick's or other)
2 tbsp olive oil (or avocado oil if you have it)

To this you can add whatever suits your taste, such as chili powder, lime juice, lemon juice, etc. Basically mix all the ingredients together in an airtight container, put the steaks in and put the lid on the container. Then shake up the container to mix, and then store the container in the fridge until ready to cook, shaking occasionally.

The steaks are best prepared in a non-stick frying pan on a high heat... I fry them for 2 minutes on either side, so they are brown on either side, but still pink in the middle (medium rare). Do *NOT* overcook it, otherwise the meat will become tough and it will not be as enjoyable.

Kangaroo sausages you can cook just like normal sausages. They are smaller, but very much tastier. For those who wonder what kangaroo tastes like, it's like beef, but with a much stronger flavour. In fact, I'm pretty sure you could serve it up AS beef, and no one would know the difference.

Enjoy.

Happy 2008 and a Product Review

Hello and Happy New Year to all the readers (all..what.. 5 of you? lol) of TFP. For the first post of 2008, it's the return of the food review. Tonight's guinea pig product was Ayam Brand Asian Meal: Sweet + Sour Tuna and Rice. I picked this one up for 2 reasons... the first being I couldn't bloody decide what else to have for dinner, and the second being it was on sale at $2.99. Clearance sale, no less, which means it's probably not going to be on the shelf for much longer.

And with GOOD FUCKING REASON! This was your usual "nuke for a couple of minutes in the microwave" job, and to it's credit, it came with a fork AND a serviette, which i didn't use, but I thought it was cute. The downside though, was half of the actual product itself. Ok, I'll be honest, 75% of the product. I didn't take pics of the sachets and everything, but I will relate my experience.



Here's the box itself. The box is more a cardboard wrapper surrounding the actual plastic box. The rice and sauce/tuna came in separate sachets. Now here's where the first dubious snag occured. With packaged, pre-cooked rice, I almost always squeeze the packet first before opening it, to sort of "fluff" the rice and separate it. This rice must have been packed too airtight or something, cuz the fluffing just wasn't happening. I took it out of it's sachet, and it was ROCK hard. I added a little water when I put it into the plastic container, and then emptied the sauce/tuna sachet on top. After nuking it for a few minutes, I took it out to stir, and attempting to stir the rice was like attempting to stir rubber. Almost impossible. I gave it the benefit of the doubt, and sat down to eat.



I tried to stir the rice up as much as possible, but some of it still remained rubbery. After a few forkfuls, I discovered the chili.



Now, on the box it said "MILD" (and I stress MILD). There was nothing mild about it. I was about as MILD as the Pattu Paneer Butter Masala product I had a while ago. The chili that was in it was small, and still had all it's seeds in it. Chilis are more spicy the smaller they get, and the seeds are the spiciest in the chili itself.

An overly generous 2 chomps out of 5. In spite of the rubber rice and the overpowering chili.