An Open Letter to The Queen Of Pop

Dearest Madonna,

While I have still the greatest respect for your talent, might I just say, if you are going to wear a leotard, PLEASE make sure it at least covers your ass. Wedgies are neither attractive, nor popular, and while yoga is obviously doing wonders for your physique, a wedgie is just *not* attractive on a 47 year old woman. Yes, I take back my previously elsewhere stated comments after seeing "I'm Going To Tell You A Secret", you can still pull off a great live show (one which I might endeavour to see if you grace Australia with your presence next year). However, there is something about half of your "Hung Up" video that completely rubs me the wrong way, and it has to do with the aforementioned leotard. And I'm sorry, I don't know if it had to do with the cheap black and white TV I watched the telecast on, but your performance on the MTV European Music Awards seemed to sport an even worse wedgie. Learn to pull your leotard out of your ass, for the love of Kabbalah!! (Ok, that was a cheap shot!)

Sincerely,

Frostilicus and the rest of the viewing public.