Call Centres and Why They SUCK!

(or a rant about broken english speaking call centre staff)

Now, this isn't an unusual complaint, I've heard similar complaints..but this is mine, and I'm so angry i feel like a good rant.

*puts on rant pants*

RIGHT.
Call centres give me the shits. It's bad enough having to call one in the first place because of some problem you have. But what's worse, is call centres that fuck you around.

Here's my story: The other day, I registered a new sim card with my old mobile number, so that I could reap the benefits of picture messaging and GPRS internet on my phone. (I have over $500 credit, gotta waste it somehow.) I'd also just got a newer updated phone that does all this wonderful shit, and why not take advantage of it.

Anyway, my mobile provider has a website that lets you set things up online, which is fine by me, seeing as the less stupid people I have to talk to, the better. I put up with the 10 minutes of speaking to some idiot from Pakistan to get my old number transferred onto my new sim, but figured I could do everything else I needed via the internet.

Not so. I go to the website and go to set up my MMS, and it tells me that my mobile details could not be retrieved, and to call customer care. Bugger. So today, I suck it up and call the number that the website gave me.

Turns out it was the wrong number to call (right company, wrong section), so the guy (who was Australian) gave me another number to call, which wasn't much different from the one I had just dialled. He then transferred me to another department. Another minute on hold (after 5 minutes on hold to begin with, i might add), and I'm greeted by another Australian accented voice that asks me what I would like. So I explain my problem again. He then says "Oh, you've been put through to the landline department, I'll have to transfer you to the pre-paid mobile department."

My patience, at this point, is starting to wear thin. I'm put on hold again, and almost as soon as I'm put on hold, I'm answered by an accented voice from Pakistan or India... whichever, I do not care. He tells me he is the POST-PAID mobile department, and I am all "WHAT? I was told I was being transferred to the PRE-PAID department!" and going off at this guy who is all apologetic and says "Ok, I'll transfer you to the Pre-paid department. One moment please."

After another short period on hold, I am answered with "Yes?" ...just that and no "Hello this is the pre-paid department, how can I help you?" So I said, a bit sarcastically "This is the PRE-PAID department, RIGHT? You haven't sent me to DSL internet or something have you?" and the guy starts rattling off at me in an equally annoying Pakistani/Indian accent, which is thicker than the guy I was previously speaking to.

I explain my problem, yet AGAIN... and the guy says "ok, let me activate MMS and internet for you, let me put you on hold" after asking me if I'm aware of the charges involved for both services. 3 minutes of lousy music, and he comes back on the line, apologising for making me wait... then basically asking me the SAME QUESTION and then putting me on hold again. Another 3 minutes of lousy music follows, and then he comes back on the line, again, apologising for making me wait, and telling me he's having problems... what kind of phone do I have...so I tell him and then mention that I've had my number transferred to a new sim card. He tries to tell me that I'm on a "very old" plan (bullshit, I upgraded to it around this time last year, so it's not THAT old), and would I like to change to the newer one?

He then goes on to tell me that with the new deal, I've got to nominate some phone numbers to call that are with the same company in order to benefit from whatever extra credits... and I tried to tell him that I don't have any numbers on the same provider to call...and he goes... "ok I'll try and sort it out, let me put you on hold AGAIN" and by this point I'm just like "yeah ok put me on hold"... another 3 or so minutes on hold and he comes back and tells me.. "I've put in a request to activate GPRS on your phone (so I can use MMS and internet), but it won't become active for another 48-72 hours, but I can't set up MMS or internet due to an error at this time"

I, barely understanding that, asked him to explain it again. So he speaks SLOWER as if i'm a fucking IDIOT... and then I ask "so, I'll have to call back after that time is up to get it set up properly?" and he replies that yes, I will have to call back after that time is up.

Well. FUCK THAT. I'll go to the retail store and get it set up instead, by someone who isn't a moron and speaks proper english.

I don't give a shit whether it's cheaper to pay someone in Pakistan to do customer service, I'd much rather speak to someone who speaks english than deal with some idiot who probably doesn't even live here. It would be a hell of a lot less frustrating for the customer.

And it's not just phone companies. I had to call me bank a few months back to order a new keycard (i'd lost mine), and had to deal with oen of them, too. No wonder people go off their heads and shoot people... with call centre staff who don't speak english...how can you blame them?