Wednesday, November 30, 2005

 

PSA: Net Nasties

For all the tech-savvy people reading this (and the not so tech savvy), please, please, PLEASE avoid SPY SHERIFF like the freakin' plague. It is MALWARE that infects your PC and is a right royal BITCH to remove. I just spent 2 hours trying to get rid of it, with eventual success using a combination of methods including having to delete infected registry entries. ANY person surfing the internet/world wide web or whatever you want to call it who is doing so WITHOUT both virus protection and/or Spyware software needs to have their head examined.

Here are some tips for surfing around without running into any trouble:

1: Get yourself a VIRUS SCANNER. I use AVG, which is free for home use. For a free scanner, it's pretty good and you can set it will automatically scan at a set time every day that you can change. If you find another one that suits your needs, great. You can never have too much protection!

2: Get yourself a SPYWARE SCANNER. I am currently using Lavasoft Ad-Aware. This will scan your PC for spyware and remove accordingly. I recommend scanning for spyware every day.

3: Get a POP-UP KILLER for your browser, or install a browser that has one by default.

4: As far as BROWSERS are concerned, STAY AWAY from Internet Explorer. It is the most vulnerable and security flawed browser. Some alternatives: Opera, Flock, or Mozilla/Firefox

5: Practise safe browsing habits. If an installer window pops up, READ IT before clicking anything. You may be unknowingly installing nasty software (such as malware or spyware) or even a virus.

6: Get yourself a firewall if you are on broadband. ZoneAlarm is a good one for starters, although there are other products out there that provide similar protection, and some that provide all-round protection for your PC.

6: Be VERY wary of toolbars that install from websites. These are some of the most common nasty-type programs that will slow down both your PC and your internet. They will often disguise themselves as "search" tools, but they usually contain hidden nasties, too.

7: Email: Unless you are receiving an attachment from someone you know, DO NOT download ANY email attachment under ANY circumstances. A lot of viruses spread via email, and a lot of people get caught out because of it. Also with attachments that you DO receive from friends, ALWAYS SCAN your attachments BEFORE you open them. It's better to be on the safe side than to forget about it and end up having to a: reformat your PC and/or b: lose valuable data.

8: If you want to be a bit more aware of viruses that are out there, check out a website like Trend Micro. Websites like these have databases about virus threats and have important information on how to remove them should your PC become infected. Or simply go to Google and type in the name of the virus (this is good if you have a virus that your virus scanner can't remove the first time around), e.g. "mytob worm removal" and this should give you a list of links. If one isn't helpful, don't despair, just go back to your google search page and pick another link.

9: If someone on your address book list has sent you a virus, they may not even know. If this occurs, what I like to do is shoot them an email that says "heads up, you may have a virus on your system, you might like to alert your address book contacts" and then give them a link to information about the virus, including removal instructions.

10: Some websites that are notorious for having viruses/nasties attached to them are: Porn sites, warez/crack sites, and some of the thousands of games websites out there. (I'm referring to Java games that you play in your browser)

This may seem like a lot of information, but these days it is important to be careful. Like it or not, people write viruses, and companies bundle spyware with their software, and it's a good idea to be aware of these things. It doesn't hurt to be cautious, and remember, it's your data that's at stake if something goes wrong!

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

 

Tuesday Stumbles

Monday, November 28, 2005

 

Sunday's Storm

Yesterday we had a storm that lasted for about 2 and a half hours or so...which is quite long, considering that lately the storms we have been getting have been fizzling out before being worthy of being called storms. Yesterday's gave us a lot of rain, thunder and lightning, and while I didn't manage to get any lightning shots (I've given up on that idea), I managed to get some good cloud shots throughout the afternoon.



This was towards the beginning of the storm. Admittedly, when the storms start to approach, I go into "shutterbug" mode and am taking pics virtually every 5 minutes. My housemates might think I'm nuts, but they haven't mentioned it yet. I told them about this blog (though didn't give them the address), and they just said "o...kay..." and looked at me strange. Whatever. But, while the storm was happening we were watching the clouds and the rain, trying to judge when it would be over. This is a bit hard to do without having the weather radar handy, though.





This next pic was "round 2" of the storm in the distance. It gets darker outside when it storms most likely due to the thickness of the clouds, so when it gets lighter is a sign tht the storm is getting to be over. There was another cloud band in the distance, though, which held lightning and more rain...





When the storm had mostly passed, I raced to the bathroom to take the following picture. I like to take pictures that show a range of light tones, hence why I take so many freakin' cloud pictures, and I will tend to shoot the same scene multiple times as the tone of the picture will be different. Basically it's never the same picture twice.



Then as the sun started to set, I took some more pictures.





This pic is to the right of the previous picture...



And finally, the sun setting from the front deck...



Storms I find interesting as a force of nature. They can be beautiful as much as they can be destructive. They also make for some great pictures, too. Until next time...

~FrostilicusFrost~
 

Monday Stumbles

Origins Of Words And Names

The Good Drugs Guide (Informative Webby About Illegal Drugs, NOTE: The Frostilicus Perspective provides this as INFORMATION. If you die of a drug overdose, don't go blaming me, as I didn't make you take it.)

Japan-101.com

Zapato Productions

American Museum Of Natural History

Enjoy!

Sunday, November 27, 2005

 

Jessica Does A Paris Hilton?

Although I haven't seen it, I've heard of that Paris Hilton ad where she's schmoozing her wet sudsy tits all over some car. Well today I managed to have the (mis?)fortune of seeing Jessica Simpson's "These Boots Are Made For Walking" video clip. I didn't think much of Jessica Simpson before I saw this video clip, and to tell you the truth, I think she's even more of a doey eyed bimbette now that I have seen it. Basically she's yukking it up in one of those crop top t-shirts and a pair if shorter-than-short shorts (which I'm led to believe are called "Daisy Dukes" after her character in the movie.. whatever, they still look slutty), and a pair of cowboy boots. And oh, look! Willie Nelson plays guitar. I wonder if he was thinking "what the fuck am I doing in this video...oh what the hell, I'll just strum my gee-tar a bit more and smile". Or maybe he was thinking that girls didn't behave a la Miss Simpson-slash-Lachey-oh-but-now-they-are-on-the-outs-so-we'll-just-stick-to-Simpson in his day.

ANYWAY... I think the funniest part of the video clip is when Bimbo, oops I mean Jessica slugs a customer who slaps her on the ass with a nice right hook (or left hook, I don't remember). Oh and perhaps Ricky Martin needs to be relieved of his "Robo-Hips" title, Jessica was working those hips like they were a well lubed dildo on a pussy safari. (i.e. flawlessly) But, on the downside, the pink "nearly not there" bikini didn't do her that much justice (sorry Jessica, but your ass is just a little bit on the skinnycino side.. someone get this girl a plate of ribs, pronto... or maybe a Beer Barrel Belly Buster) Oh and no boob-schmoozing on the windshield = Jessica is a teasing wench! At least Paris gave horny guys not only a memorable porn video (either for it's titillation or laugh value), but the windshield had her cleavaged smooshed all over it.

But, Paris is a skank anyway... so whatever. Apparently she only has one pose as evidenced in either a flash file or a .gif file somewhere in the great wide intermanet. (i.e. I saw it like 2-3 days ago but forgot to bookmark it...d'oh!)

'Til next time, Kiddies...

~FrostilicusFrost~
 

Cameras and Such

For those of you interested in what kind of cameras I'm using to take pictures for this blog, read on!

My digital camera is a Canon Powershot A510. For those of you who can't be bothered reading through all that, I'll just tell you it's a 3.2 megapixal camera, with a 4x optical zoom lens, and takes pictures in JPEG format. I usually shoot my pictures at 1024x768, and it currently has a 512mb DSE SD Memory Card. This is the camera I use to take cloud pictures. To make the pictures easier and quicker to display, they are reduced to 75% of their original size using a popular graphics editing package.

The camera I've used to take most of the pictures of food items is the camera on my Nokia 3220 Mobile Phone. This takes pictures at 640x480 and they tend to be a bit grainier than the ones I take with my digital camera. But, it's handy for on the go pictures, and saves me lugging my camera everywhere, so I don't mind sacrificing a bit of quality picture-wise for portability.

Soak it up, camera geeks!

Saturday, November 26, 2005

 

An Actual Noodle Recipe

That's right, folks, for a change of pace, we here at The Frostilicus Perspective are bringing you an actual Recipe! It's not entirely original, I've adapted it from the Hot Dog Lo-mein recipe in the first episode of "Starvin' With Louis". Their website is in my links section if anyone is interested!

Hot Dog and Mushroom Lo-mein A La Frostilicus

Ingredients:

2 packets Chicken Instant Noodles (cheap store brand is acceptable)
4 hot dogs (I used Footy Franks, which, for the non-Australian readers are a brand of hot dog here)
6 dried Shiitake mushrooms
Beer
Dijon Mustard
Barbecue Sauce
Tomato Sauce/Ketchup
Teriyaki Marinade
Garlic Tabasco Sauce

To start with, you will need to soak the Shiitake mushrooms in water to re-hydrate them. This will take about 10-15 minutes or so. Meanwhile, slice up the 4 hot dogs into bite size pieces. Take a microwave safe container, big enough to fit the 2 noodle bricks and fill with enough water to cover the noodles. Place into the microwave and cook for about 3 minutes. After the 3 minutes are up, check to see if they have softened yet, if not, cook for another 3 minutes. While they are cooking, heat some oil in a frying pan on high heat and start frying up the hot dog pieces.

By now your mushrooms should be soft, so slice them up, removing the stalks. Add to the hot dogs in the frying pan, and splash in a bit of Teriyaki marinade. Empty the flavour packets into a small bowl and slowly add about 1/4 of a cup of beer. Be careful so it doesn't foam over. Add some tomato sauce to this mixture and whisk to dissolve the flavour powder. The noodles should be softened up now, so drain them and add them to the frying pan with the hot dogs and mushrooms. Toss them around a bit, then add the flavour/beer mixture. Add in a few drops of Garlic Tabasco Sauce, as well as some more Tomato sauce, Dijon Mustard and Barbecue sauce to taste. cook for a little bit longer, then serve and enjoy.

Eat at your own risk, and don't blame me if you get sick. The Frostilicus Perspective takes no responsibilities for any injury, temporary blindness, or otherwise unfavourable side effects from eating this!
 

Saturday Stumbles

 

Oh Usher, There's Subtitles On My Movie...

Today's rant: people who bitch, moan and complain about subtitles on DVD's. I guess it's just my upbringing in a household where a lot of SBS Television was watched, but I grew up watching things with subtitles. While usually in different languages, a lot of SBS programming required subtitles. Now I don't know about you, but I would PREFER to watch foreign language programming subtitles, becuase, goshdarnit, I like to know what's being said! Now I live in a household of people who instantly write-off any programming or movies that are in a foreign language, due to the subtitle element. The complaint? "I can't keep up with the subtitles so there's no point in me watching it". Hence was their comment after I went to see Kung Fu Hustle earlier this year. It's a damn shame, becuase they are missing out on one damn funny film. The Chinese make some fantastic films... Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, House of Flying Daggers, to name just 2. Unfortunately though, these films end up almost laughable when they are re-dubbed into english, and as such, I have trouble watching re-dubbed films, purely for the fact that I can't stop laughing... They turn out more comical than anything, they get idiot actors who take away from the seriousness of the film. So, I'd much rather just watch it with subtitles.

I also watch my DVD's with the subtitles turned on. Why? Because I like to read what is being said. It's not because I'm completely deaf, but there's some films I've seen time and time again and I have no idea what a particular line actually was, as I just didn't hear it right the first 20 times. (Ok, so maybe I am a little deaf...damn loud music) These days I get annoyed when I get a DVD that has NO subtitles. I don't see what the big complaint is, to be honest. I'd much rather be right in quoting something from a movie, than quote it wrong and look like an idiot. But hey, I guess that's just me.
 

Farewell Mr Miyagi :(

Noriyuki "Pat" Morita Dies, Aged 73.

Karate Kid actor Pat Morita dies

Pat Morita started his career as a comedian
Actor Pat Morita, who was nominated for an Oscar for his portrayal of Ralph Macchio's mentor Mr Miyagi in The Karate Kid, has died.

The 73-year-old died at his home in Las Vegas on Thursday of natural causes, his wife Evelyn said.

Born in California to immigrant fruit pickers, he was among the thousands of Japanese-Americans sent to internment camps during World War II.

Morita, who began his career as a comic, rose to fame in TV's Happy Days.

Sequel appearances

But it was the role in 1984's Karate Kid that would define Morita's career.

The part of a quiet caretaker who takes a bullied teenager under his wing to teach him martial arts was much spoofed in the years that followed.

Morita appeared in the film's three sequels, including 1994's the Next Karate Kid opposite a young Hilary Swank.

His other roles included Honeymoon in Vegas, Spy Hard, and Even Cowgirls get the Blues.

Article Here


Wax on, Wax off. Sand the floor, Left, Right, Up, Down. I think Mr Miyagi was one of my favourite movie characters. Especially as a kid. He will be missed.

Friday, November 25, 2005

 

Friday Stumbles

 

Pink Skies

Took these pics last night (Thursday). I took the sunset pics from the front deck of my house, and took the other pics from the back deck, and the bathroom window.





It kinda sucks that there are trees in the way, but on the other hand they make for an interesting shadow to the pictures.

I forget how different the pictures look when I take them off my digital camera. The screen on the digital camera really doesn't do much justice to the pictures I'm taking. I was completely struck stupid by the vivid colour of these next 2 images, as they didn't look as deep on the camera screen.


This is the picture I took out of the bathroom window


And this is the one I took from the back deck (hence why the damn tree branches are in the way). For all these sky/cloud pictures I take, there are advantages and disadvantages to taking them from the decking. Advantages are obviously better height and more cloud in the picture, but the disadvantage is unfortunately that the area of deck is barely 1.5 square metres as it is, and my backyard unfortunately has a tree right next to the back deck, and the trees surrounding my neighbour's yard kinda cut the visibility as well. Hence why I took one of them from the bathroom window, there's a wider view from there, even though it looks quite silly taking pictures while standing in the bath... but oh well!

Thursday, November 24, 2005

 

Fantastic Pasta "Snack In A Box" Pasta With Bolognese Sauce

Well this isn't quite "noodles", more a "spaghetti" snack.

The spaghetti is in what appears to be a shrink-wrapped bag, and looks lovely and pre-fabricated. The sauce is in a futuristic looking silver pouch. The instructions are pretty simple: empty spaghetti into box, empty sauce sachet on top of it, re-seal the box via the trendy flaps, microwave for 2 minutes, mix thoroughly and enjoy!






The fork this one comes with isn't of the folding variety, it's of the "slide part A into part B" variety.



After emptying the contents of the spaghetti pouch into the box, I find that opening the pouch of sauce isnt exactly easy, and I don't get all of it in, but 95% of it. I set it to the prescribed 2 minutes and then shuffle around doing this and that. When the microwave goes *bing*, I take it out, almost dropping it, as the box is about as hot as the lava on the planet Mustafar.

I gingerly transport it back to my room and leave it to sit and cool slightly for a minute or two. When I open the box, I'm greated with spaghetti covered in a large, semi-dehydrated looking blob of reddish-orange goo.



This is when I discover that the fork mechanism is somewhat different to Fantastic's noodle product. I stir the sauce through the noodles, to find that a significant amount of orange oily sludge is coating the sides of the box. I'm not kidding folks, its BRIGHT ORANGE. So far I'm thinking the taste has to at least be decent in order for someone to even think of eating this snack after witness the orangeness.




I am, however, completely and utterly WRONG. Now I've tasted varying degrees of Spaghetti Bolognese, from completely homemade sauces to the DIY "meat and jar of sauce" versions to some not half bad Dolmio "bung it in the microwave" versions. So I'd like to think I can tell when a meal of said dish is either really good or incredibly BAD. For this product, though, I think I'm just about convinced that there are only a few ways in which this one can be eaten.

1: the consumer has no tastebuds whatsoever.
2: the consumer hasn't eaten for a month and this is the first thing they are offered.
3: the consumer is very, VERY stoned and even dirt would taste like an edible meal to them.

I can't even describe the taste of this one, it's that horrible. I mean there's some kind of tomato flavour, but its like, 5 day unrefrigerated sun-dried tomato that's been sitting on the coils of a radiator for those 5 days. And there's some really weird brown chunks in it that are kind of chewy... and I'm tellin' ya, IT AIN'T MEAT, HONEY!!



I'm guessing by the ingredients on the packet it's some soy-based meat substitute. Regardless, it's fucking revolting. Sorry folks, I don't care how many preservatives or chemicals you put to make something "fresh" to be cooked in a microwave, but PLEASE, at least make sure it tastes like what it's supposed to be! If I buy something branded as "pasta in a bolognese sauce", then that's what I'd like to be tasting. I'd rather not be tasting "pasta that is in some red sauce that leaves an unhealthy orange oil-slime on the side of the box and tastes like something I wouldn't feed my (non-existant) dog if I was in a shitty mood with it.

Verdict: I'm inventing a new scale for this. The GAG-Factor scale. This one rates a 5 on the GAG-Factor scale. It's so gagworthy, I didn't even get half way through it before i dismantled the fork, threw it into the box, took the box outside, downstairs and threw it into the bin. This is a serously fucking GROSS product.
 

Thursday Stumbling

Japanese culture and inventions are quite fascinating things. Whether it's something that seems outlandishly ridiculous, or something that makes a lot of sense, the products and ideas that the Japanese come up with have never failed to make me smile in amusement. So here's something from a Japanese website that I found to be rather charming:

The Handwritten Clock

Incidentally, I once saw an installation in the Art Gallery Of Western Australia that was a dark room with a "time bar" in the middle of it. The bar itself was a doublt sided digital display, green on one side, red on the other, and it displayed the time. If memory serves, it started at the year, then month, day, hour, minute, and several decimal places for the seconds. I'm pretty sure it was designed by some Japanese person, and in hindsight, I wish I'd paid more attention to it, as the memory of it is quite intriguing.

Here are some dumb criminals...

ASCII Star Wars is good for a geeky chuckle...

And from one of my favourites, here's an article about Corset Piercings and How To Do Them Properly
 

Caffeine

If you're like me, at times you feel like complete crud when you wake up in the morning . You are half asleep until you get your cup of coffee or tea or whatever picks you up in the morning. You might not know, but Caffeine is one of the world's most popular stimulants!

Frequently Asked Questions About Caffeine

Another page brought to The Frostilicus Perspective, via the Stumble Button!

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

 

More Stumbles

OMG im already in love with my stumble button *humps it wildly*...

Fly Guy

Bow Man

Guitar Chordbook

Your Call! (LMFAO!)

WHOA!

And the answer to one of the ultimate questions: here
 

Stumbles

 

1 Dollar Shirt

I just installed the StumbleUpon extension for the Flock browser and on my first click of my brand spanking new "Stumble!" button I stumbled on the following cute gem:

The Shirt

Enjoy!
 

I+J Microwave Bacon Burger (With Cheese!)

For today's food related post, I've chosen to review I+J's Microwave Bacon Burger With Cheese. Having tired (for the moment) of reviewing noodles ad nauseum, I decided to drift back into burger land, under the "frozen microwave" umbrella. This one I purchased from Coles for the grand price of $2.56.

Here's the box:



Front



And the instructions are printed on the back, with diagrams! It's a bit blurred, as per my shaky phone cam skills (bah!), but basically you take the bagged burger out of the box, place it upside down on the box in the microwave, heat for one minute...



Then turn over and nuke for another minute. So I prepared my lunch as per the directions, and waited, while cursing the Queensland humidity yet again (today is a bit of a stinker and listening to my housemates crap on about God knows what with a visiting friend.) Finally my lunch is done *ding!* and I pull the bag out of the microwave, grab my Coke from the fridge and head to the sanctuary of my room. I set the bagged burger on the desk, only to find that the bag is already half open and some kind of liquid is oozing out! I wipe up the small puddle and then completely open the bag:



Oh no, my burger is upside down. So I turn it upright... and admire the burgerish form for a minute or two while I wait for it to cool, and then get stuck in.



Despite the fact that on the box it says "New Tastier Recipe!", it tastes a little better than cardboard. It does have a flavour that can be recognised as "burger" although the cheese is that suspicious orange colour and it DOES look rather pre-fabricated. (but then, what else would you expect from frozen food)



By reaching the end of the burger, the bottom part of the bun has gone rock solid and really chewy.


Ahhh... A heart attack waiting to happen...

Verdict: This is a good one for uni students who don't have the cash flow to really care about what they are eating, or those who really like bad tasting microwaveable food. I'd give it 2 chomps out of 5, just to be nice about it. If you're that much of a burger freak, go the home made or go to HJ's or something...

Sunday, November 20, 2005

 

Clouds n Sunsets n Planes, Oh My!

Ah, having become a bit of a shutterbug lately, I tend to take a lot of pics of the sky...which is, of course, more exciting when there are clouds about.



This was the pseudo-storm that we had today. I say "pseudo-storm" because it LOOKED threatening on the radar, but turned out to be a lot of rain, wind and not much in the way of thunder and lightning.



The following pic I took last week sometime, I forget exactly when. But I thought it was interesting, and with my love of all things cloudy, I figured "why not".



This pic I took as the sun was starting to set.



This one kinda looks like those scenes in movies or cartoons when the heavens open and those bright lights come from above to make it look like some divine angel or being is talking to you...lol



Here's a sunset:



And last, but not least, here's a plane against the orange clouds that my housemate's little one said "take a pic of that!"



Until next time...

FrostilicusFrost.

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

 

News And Bits

 

Lennon's Killer Tells Why He Did It

Nothing could have stopped me: John Lennon killer
Wednesday Nov 16 06:46 AEST

Mark David Chapman, the man who shot dead John Lennon 25 years ago, will be heard describing how he was on an unstoppable mission to find his own personality by murdering the former Beatle.

In a documentary to be aired on the NBC network, Chapman, now 50, describes how he went through with the killing and shot Lennon five times in the back outside the Dakota apartment complex in New York on December 8, 1980.

"I was under total compulsion," Chapman says.

"I'm thoroughly convinced in my conscience and in my heart that there was nothing I could do beyond that point to help myself, totally convinced of that.

"It was like a train, a runaway train, there was no stopping it. No matter — nothing could have stopped me," he says.

Chapman's remarks are contained on audiotapes recorded back in 1991 and 1992. The tapes are part of a documentary to be broadcast by Britian's Channel 4 television on the actual anniversary of Lennon's death next month.

Chapman, who was arrestd at the scene of the murder, is currently serving a 20 years to life prison sentence.

He was denied parole for a third time last year after the parole board cited the "extreme malicious intent" of his crime and said releasing him would undermine respect for the law.

On the tapes, Chapman offers a bitter rationale for his decision to kill Lennon.

"There was a successful man who kind of had the world on a chain so to speak and there I was not even a link of that chain, just a person who had no personality. And something in me just broke," he says.

"And I remember thinking perhaps my identity would be found in the killing of John Lennon."

He also recounts the actual murder on a cold, windy day in Manhattan when he saw Lennon's limousine pull up outside the Dakota building.

"And I know that, that it's him, I have this incredible feeling," he says.

"I heard a voice in my head, saying 'do it, do it, do it'. And as he passed me I pulled out the gun, aimed at his back and pulled the trigger five times in succession."

Lennon's widow, Yoko Ono, has repeatedly lobbied to keep Chapman behind bars, saying he posed a continued threat to her family.

===

So, how do you find your identity in committing murder? And not just any murder, someone as famous as John Lennon, who was not only a great musician, but a man who supported the idea of peace? I'm sure it's not going to make anyone feel any better, least of all Lennon's family to know this... they'd feel much better having him still alive.

Monday, November 14, 2005

 

The Office

So why did they bring me down here?

That was my first thought upon entering The Office. While everything had been re-modelled, it still has that same dull lifeless air of hopelessness and nothing. Stand in line, wait your turn, lodge form, move to the let and finally escape through the gnashing teeth of the sliding door. I was glad they summoned me on a day when I had to lodge, instead of making me drag myself out on an odd day, wasting yet another ride on my bus ticket. But that was the only thing I was glad of.

"Good morning...here for an appointment?" I was greeted by a snivelly nosed looking woman in her late 20's/early 30's, with an expression that just screamed "get me out of here and back to my jacuzzi at once!".

"Yes, I have an appointment at 10am."

"Name?"

"Jane Smith," I replied, trying hard to cover up my annoyance at being spoken to as if i was no less than five-years-old.

"Smith...Smith...S-m-i-t-h?" she asked, in a slightly more interested tone, which may have given the illusion that she actually gave a sh*t about my problems. How many MORE ways can you spell "Smith"?? (And don't be a smartass.)

"Yup, that's me!" I said, with slightly more enthusiasm than *she* could ever muster, adding a cute grin, as though this was a baby judging contest.

"Fine, I'll let George know you're here, and he'll be right with you." She wandered off to find this mysterious "John" and I was left watching Ben Walters on his morning show, introducing that blonde bimbo Myra to advertise yet another useless hair removal "system".(though it only constituted a bucket of glorified sour cream and a spatula.)

"Jane Smith?" God, my name was called. I felt like a sheep! Called, no less, in what appeared to be a very broken English, mixed in with some Greek here and there. Just my luck to get someone who didn't understand the concept of "throw another shrimp on the barbie". To him, it might've been "throw another shrimp on the barbie. No, not THAT one, the one marinated in the olive oil and basil. Next to the marinated kalamata olives and the spiced feta cheese. YES! Those ones!". Oh, the agony.

"Yeah, that's me!" I intoned, *trying* to be as chirpy as possible. I stood up and turned towards my inquisitor for the interview...

"Hello, my name is George. I be helping you today."

"I be helping you today." I mouthed to myself while I was walking behind him. while I was not a mean person, I couldn't stand not taking the mickey out of just about anybody.

He led me to a modern looking desk, in the middle of a modern looking office. You know... the kind of modern looking office in which the computers are always 3 times slower than they should be, and the important forms and paperwork are almost ALWAYS, without fail, a minimum of 6 months out of date.

He sat down behind his desk and punched up my name into the computer. "Do you know why you're here? This is a review for mutual obligation..."

"Uh...hang on. Review?" I whipped out the very rude letter I had been sent the week before. "You people sent me this letter last week telling me I haven't met my requirements for this activity." I handed him the letter and let him peruse it for a moment.

"Oh. This is just a standard template letter. We didn't send this to you, the computer did." At least he had the guts to admit it TO MY FACE that it was a computer-sent thing!

"Ah. I see. Well, at least you admit it!" I said, laughing slightly. In slow motion, his beady eyes peered at me, by which time a sickly grin spread over his face, as he fake-laughed for half a second. Dear God...this WAS hell, and I was in it.

This dragged on for a minute or two, with me explaining clearly what my obligational activity was. By which time he asked to see my documents. I showed them to him, and BS'ed my way through...which resulted in him telling me "Oh, these are the wrong booklets, you're supposed to have THIS one..." (pulling out a booklet that was TWICE as bulky as the one I already had). I groaned inwardly and thought to myself "YOU BASTARDS!!!! Why didn't you tell me this shit beforehand?"

"So, what type of work are you looking for?" he asked, in a tone of voice that clearly said "I'm just doing this to get paid, and I don't give a rat's ass what you're looking for!"

"Uh, well, something in the web design, slash multimedia, slash electronic publishing field." And I thought to myself... "It's in the bloody computer already!"

"Mmhmm..." he mumbled, while flipping through my documents. "Sydney...is a good place for that sort of thing, if you're ever in that area. The industry is a bit slow over here."

Well no shit, Sherlock! For the love of hamnog, tell me something I DON'T know!

For a few more minutes, he tapped on the computer...his fingers running over those keys a little lethargically. As thought they were still half asleep and could do with a good dose of highly caffeinated coffee.

"Well, that's it. You can go now." George said.

"Oh. Ok, thank you very much..." I said, not wondering WHY I was thanking the moron. "Have a nice day."

"Same to you, Miss Smith." he said, without even looking up at me.

I picked up my backpack and walked out of The Office. Past the queues of people who were as fed up as I was at that moment. I got out of the snarling jaws of the sliding doors, and muttered...

"Bastards..."

(Copyright Frostilicus, 2000)
 

Scribblings

Saturday, November 12, 2005

 

Rants And Such

 

Incompetent Retail Staff, Oh How I LOATHE Thee...

Today I went to my local K-mart to pick up a couple of things. I went to the counter with my purchases, and the sales girl toddled off to get them. She looked to be all of about 17, and I'm pretty much convinced that it's probably her first McJob, and she hasn't been at it long. She looked to be one of those super-bored tryhard "Goth" types anyway. Or quite possibly Emo. Anyhoo, I was buying Quake 4, and luckily on the shelf they had the CD-Rom and DVD editions of the game. Unlike when I purchased F.E.A.R., which came as a 5, count them: FIVE disc CD set. So, Frostilicus grabs the DVD edition box and heads off to the counter.

Well, little miss McJob pulls out the CD-Rom edition and I said, "is that the CD or DVD version?" and the other sales assistant picks it up, looks at it and says "CD-Rom", to which I say "well I would like the DVD version, as it's the one I picked off the shelf." So little miss McJob apologises and toddles off to get the DVD version. I was also buying a DVD (The Dismissal, about the 1975 sacking of Australia's Whitlam Government), and as she's ringing up my purchases on the cash register (like 5-7 minutes later), I picked up the DVD cover and pulled it out of it's sleeve, to find that there's no discs in the jewel case. I wave it in front of her, like "You forgot this one, you shithead!" and she apologises again and toddles off to get them. She comes back with the discs, only to discover that the case is a 1-disc case, not a 2-disc case. Another apology, she goes off to find a 2-disc case, which takes about another FIVE minutes, because apparently, they aren't smart enough to have a few spare 2-disc cases on hand in case there's a fuck up and they need to grab one on short notice. Meanwhile, she's put the discs label side UP on the counter, which is one of the most stupidly incompetent things you can do in a SOUND AND VISION department... you would think the employees would know that discs scratch easily and put them label side DOWN. But no... I guess that's a little too much to ask. By now I'm shaking my head profusely and thinking "what a bunch of absolute FUCKWITS", and it crosses my mind to write a letter to the "Thumbs Up, Thumbs Down" section of the local rag giving them a big fat THUMBS DOWN cuz they really suck at their job.

Anyway, I she finally rings up everything on the register, and has to ask ME if she put the DVD through. I say yes, she did, not really caring whether she did or didn't, rather just wanting to get out of that department before I strangle her.

I decide to get myself a coffee and a donut, so I head to Donut King for their Cappucino and 2 free donut deal. And just my luck, I end up with the fucking TRAINEE sales person, complete with a little yellow badge with an "L" on it, which reminds me of that Swamp comic (or whatever it's called) with the duck flying school...Ding Duck and his ever-present "L" on his chest cuz he just can't pass flight school... Anyway, I ask for a regular Cappucino and 2 donuts... which is $3.70 according to their display board. I hand over $3.70 and get 50 cents back. Now I'm going to blame both the trainee and the Donut King people for this. Their board clearly says "small = $3.20", "regular = $3.70". The other day when I ordered a regular Cappucino, I got one in a large mug, which was correct, oh and by the way, I was served by someone who HAD been working there more than 5 minutes. Someone obviously hadn't told lil miss Trainee McJobber the difference between "small" and "regular". On top of getting a "small" Cappucino, lil miss Trainee McJobber obviously hasn't had to make that many Cappucinos, because she overfilled it and a lot of it ended up in the saucer while I was moving it from the service counter to the table I sat at.

All I can say is, THANK GOD SHE DIDN'T FUCK UP THE DONUTS!
 

Pepsi Samba

I'm pretty sure this is one of those limited edition things, but I decided to try Pepsi Samba when my housemate got a bottle of if the other day. It's billed as "Tropical Flavoured Cola" on the label. It's the usual Pepsi colour, which, even though it appears to be black, is actually a dark red.



The flavour of it is...well...not exactly Tropical by any stretch of the defintion. In fact, I don't even recognise this as tasting much like Pepsi, either. On further tasting it seems to be something reminiscent of a mixed spirit-and-coke drink, but I'm not sure if it's rum or bourbon. (Bearing in mind, I drink neither rum nor bourbon.) It's a bit of an icky taste, to be honest.

I'm about as inspired by this as I was by Pepsi Blue when that came out (which was supposed to be a berry flavoured cola), i.e. Not Very! 1.5 swigs out of 5!

Friday, November 11, 2005

 

K-fee Turbodrink

As a change to my usual morning coffee, yesterday I picked up a can of K-fee Turbodrink. Usually I drink 1 cup of plunger coffee, and if I feel like it, I'll drink 2. This plays havoc with my heartburn, but anyways. Seeing as I've been trying a lot of new things lately, I spotted this at Woolworth's yesterday, and having tired (for the moment) of doing endless noodle posts, I decided to review this drink, especially after reading that it has a whopping 130mg of caffeine in it, as opposed to the 80mg in Red Bull.

So here's a quick snap of the can:



I left it to chill overnight, as canned drinks do taste better in a chilled state. Stumbling out to the kitchen in a semi-half asleep state this morning, I decided to drink it as my morning coffee, as it's getting a little too warm to make hot coffee. Summers in QLD really take a lot out of you! Anyhoo, I opened the can, forgetting to shake it first, so I stuck my thumb over the opening and gave it a swirl or two to mix it up. I remember I had a canned tea drink years ago and I had forgotten to shake it first, and it was kinda, uh, AWFUL. Meanwhile I Googled the drink, as I tend to do a lot nowadays when I don't know much about something. That or Wikipedia. I discovered that K-fee is actually made by a German company, and fortunately, they have a link to a US version of the website, thankfully. I kinda wish Planetemu had one, then I wouldn't have to rely on my rusty French and/or Babelfish to read it!

However, I digress. According to the K-fee website, K-fee "...is freshly brewed roasted coffee with whole milk that you can enjoy easily and everywhere. A ready mix with a great taste and a strong effect - because one can of K-fee turbodrink contains twice as much natural caffeine, but only half the calories of typical energy drinks." According to the site it also comes in the following varieties: Chocolate and Vanilla, and there's also Coffee and Menthol flavoured chewing gum, with 3 pieces = 1/2 a cup of espresso. Somehow I think Jolt gum has a little more kick to it. The taste of K-fee is definitely coffee, it's sweet, but not overly so. I find it to be actually quite a pleasant drink, and it seems to have done the trick and woken me up (so far). And I obviously didn't shake the can properly enough, because on my last swig, some creamy sediment stuff came with it and I nearly gagged! Ewww...

But on the whole, I give this 4 swigs out of 5. It's good for a quick coffee on the run, especially if it's a hot day and you don't have time to wait for your coffee to brew on the way to work!

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

 

Noodles Part 3!

For this review, I'm going to try another new-to-Frostilicus product, Wokka Stir Fried Cup Noodles = Karate Beef Flavour. I laughed when I saw the packaging, purely because of the "Karate Beef" name and the cute "karate man" drawing on it. So I decided to give them a go as well as trying the Peanut Satay ones again, figuring I could give you all something to laugh at by doing yet another noodle post. Plus, for the good of the world, Frostilicus feels it's important to advise on the merits (or otherwise) of products available on the market!





The package comes with a cardboard outer wrapping, which when removed, leaves us with a plastic cup, wrapped in plastic. The cardboard wrapping has 2 different methods listed, the "conventional" and the "stir fry". The "conventional" is the usual fare: fill with boiling water, add flavouring sachets, cover, leave for 3 minutes, stir well, enjoy. The "stir fry" method is as follows: Open lid partly, remove fork and all sachets. Carefully add boiling water to the inner ring, close foil lid. Allow to leave for 3-4 minutes. Pour off half of the water. Add all sachets (seasoning, oil, sweet sauce) to noodles. mix thoroughly. ENJOY your stir fry.





I wander out to the kitchen and boil the kettle, unwrapping my noodle package while I wait. Enclosed in the cup I find the following: a folding 3 pronged fork, 1 "seasoning" sachet, 1 "oily sludge" sachet, and 1 sachet of my favourite: sweet sticky dark soy! The kettle clicks off, so I pour water onto the noodles and cover with the foil lid, placing the unfolded fork on top to hold it down. (Which I didn't have much luck doing, the fork wasn't heavy enough, but I managed!)





I wait the prescribed time, stirring my noodles in the meantime to break them up just a little bit. Then I suddenly think "How am I going to drain half the water without losing noodles?", but I managed to do it. After draining out half of the water, I added the flavour sachet, the sweet sticky soy and the oily sludge sachet.



I then proceeded to attempt to stir my noodles with the plastic folding fork. This proved near impossible, as the plastic folding fork kept UNfolding itself while I was trying to stir. This made it very difficult and very frustrating to stir the noodles. I think better fork design may need to be looked into. I come back to my desk and chow down.



Mmmm... Processed. To their credit, the noodles actually stayed hot all the way to the end of the snack. To their detriment, I nearly gagged on the salt content of the brothy stuff that was at the bottom of the cup. Also to their detriment, I don't exactly recognise the flavour as being either "beef" or "karate", more a sort of oriental mixture of sorts. There's a bit of a bite to them spice-wise, but not so much that your eyes will be watering in agony and you'll be rushing for the closest glass o' water. On the other hand, the small bite does not make up for the lack of described flavour... I was more expecting a karate-chop-to-the-jaw effect, but then I guess Malaysian made noodles sporting a Japanese idea doesn't go down too well. I'm just trying to understand that the little Karate-Chop noodle man lied to me this time! :-(

2 forks out of 5... I'll stick to the Peanut Satay ones, methinks...

Monday, November 07, 2005

 

Music

 

Video Review - Madonna - Hung Up

Oh dear. Bearing in mind, as stated before, I have been a fan of Madonna for quite a long time. The last 15-17 years in fact. Back then, when I was 10 or 11, I could happily watch Madonna videos all day long. Even up until a couple of years ago, same thing. I think she's becoming a bit like Marilyn Manson for me, I can listen to her (maybe not so much in small doses like MM), but I can't watch her. I got a hold of the video clip for Hung Up, her new ABBA-destroying single, and let me try and describe it for you all...

We start out with a hand coming through a door into a dark room. The hand flicks a switch, and lights flicker on in a mirrored room. Ok, it's a dance studio. Madonna walks into the room in a blue tracksuit (oh how very 80's) carrying what looks to be a giant ghetto blaster with 4 giant speakers on it (again, oh how very 80's). She sets it down and takes off the tracksuit, revealing a very 80's looking pink leotard, with what looks to be a purple belt with sequins all over it, fishnets and high heels. She flicks a switch on previously mentioned ghetto blaster, and we start hearing her voice "Time goes by so slowly..." as she does some warm up stretches and some pouty poses for the mirrors. The beat of the song fades in gently and we see Madonna's warm-up efforts intercut with some "kids on the roof" with a suspiciously similar looking ghetto blaster nodding their heads to the beat.

This is about where the appeal of the clip falls flat on it's face for me, folks. Madonna yuks around the studio floor pulling these dance moves that are a bit too cheesy for my liking (yes, even worse than mick and david in Dancing In The Streets), and in that outfit...ugh... I found myself almost screaming "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!?!" at the screen. She seems to be totally overdoing the hip-shaking moves, and sorry, but that outfit she's wearing? Might have looked good on her 20 years ago, but not in 2005 and not at the age of 47. so we have about 3 minutes of "leotard hell" and then we cut to Madge wandering through the streets of some city (i'm assuming it's London, cuz there's no other city I know of that has black cabs), and thank GOD, she's wearing a jacket and a pair of jeans, much more flattering than THAT leotard. Sorry, but there's something completely wrong about her in that get-up.. it's just not flattering at all, I think it's too high a cut in the groin area and shows off a little too much of her ass.

Anyway, we get a nice slow-mo section with the "Time goes by so slowly..." mantra-thing repeated, and thumping disco beat, some guy breakdancing, and some black guy getting an up-close-n-personal view of Madonna's nether bits, disco lights, and then an image I DIDN'T need, Madonna back in that f*#'g leotard slow-mo humping the ghetto blaster. And lastly, we have what I consider to be the only decent footage in the video, Madonna in green shirt and jeans doing the leotard dance routine on a knock-off Dance Dance Revolution machine surrounded by a dancing crowd... That's much more appealing to me than the goddamn leotard, that's for sure.


*shudder*

Overall, I'm not overly impressed with this clip. I've seen way better in terms of Madonna videos (hell, Deeper and Deeper was MUCH better, so was Ray Of Light), and while I realise the genres are different, I got much more enjoyment out of seeing NiN's clip for Only. I'm giving this one ... 2 reels out of 5... for the last minute and a half of the clip.
 

Bacon Deluxe

Now, I'm not one of those people who eat fast food everyday. The only fast food I eat on a regular basis is Subway, and even then because out of all the fast food places around, it seems to be the only semi-healthy one. Anyway, the other day I had a mad craving for something I haven't eaten in over 2 years: a Hungry Jack's Bacon Double Cheeseburger Deluxe. I was kind of curious to see if the taste had changed any since I last had one.

So I legged it down to my local Hungry Jack's and bought one. Obviously in the last 2 and a bit years, the price of the Bacon Deluxe had gone up, and found myself paying (if memory serves) $4.25 JUST for the burger. I reeled a bit, but didn't exactly drop dead. I just didn't want to make a scene in the middle of lunch hour. Anyhoo, I purchased, and was presented with my burger in an HJ's bag:



Funny thing is, the bag is probably the healthiest thing in the entire package, if it were edible. But, the point of this little expedition had nothing to do with health. I opened up the bag, and pulled out my lunch:



There it is, folks, in all it's wrapped glory. It's all warm and weighty in my hand, and I can just about smell the greasiness. I unwrap the burger and set it down for a quick before-shot:



It looks sort of cute, doesn't it? ;) The cheese melted onto the wrapping paper a bit, as cheese in burgers tends to do. I pick it up and take a bite. The taste hasn't changed a bit!



Mmmm... this IS a tasty burger! ;-)